My dear readers,

What Christian Men and Women Ought to Hold Tightly to

Proverbs 11:16: “A gracious woman retaineth honour: and strong men retain riches.”

God blesses all Christians with many spiritual blessings so that they may serve Him faithfully. Some of these blessings include joy, peace, compassion, love, and loving kindness. These are all important evidences of one who is born again. Christians live daily in service and witness, but sometimes aimlessly. They serve diligently year after year till they retire, when their physical well-being prevents them from serving further. Do they have an aim for how others will remember them whenever their names are mentioned at the end of their life of service and witness for Christ?

Believers need the right biblical goal in how they live for Christ. Which Christian virtue ought to characterise their lives that will be pleasing to God and bring blessing and encouragement to saints?

Proverbs 11:16 reveals to Christians the goals of the Christian woman and man.

• What is the goal of a Christian woman? – The goal of the Christian woman is to retain honour. No matter what she does in life, she must hold on to honour so as to glorify Christ. In this context of a Christian woman, the word “honour” refers to her good reputation. The good reputation for a Christian is to be Christ-like. In other words, when her name is mentioned, they will think of how her life and devotion to Christ have helped others become more mature Christians or sinners to know Christ.
  
  At home – The children of the Christian wife and mother will thank God for her, for her love, care, devotion and sacrifice in bringing them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Her godly example and God-fearing personality put the fear of God in her children’s lives, for she knows how to temper discipline with mercy. She prays for them and teaches them how to pray through her prayers with them. She is diligent in ensuring the house is spick and span, with joy in her heart, for she knows she is serving her Lord Jesus Christ, not man.
  
  Her husband will call her blessed, for she is a helper suitable for him. She prays for him as well as for the children. She is faithful and trustworthy; he knows that when he is out of the house on business, work, or doing God's work, she will care for the children and keep them safe. She steps in to fulfil all the spiritual responsibilities in his absence. She shares her views on many issues with him from a biblical perspective, lovingly and patiently, trusting him to make wise decisions for the family’s spiritual well-being. She lets him know whenever he strays so that he will remain spiritual and godly in Christ. She balances her time well between caring for the family and serving God in the church. When she does wrong, she is ready to apologise. By this example, she teaches her children how to respond when they do wrong.
  
  In church – She knows her spiritual gifts. She uses them sacrificially for the blessing of others in the church, constrained by God's love. She steps in whenever she can to help anyone who needs her. She knows her limitations and is teachable, so she can keep improving. Whatever is given to her to do, she does it with much prayer and with the fear of God in her heart. She knows she is serving the Lord even as she serves God's children. She makes sacrifices, seeking no reciprocal responses from anyone. She seeks to decrease so that Christ may always increase in her life. She spends time with the ladies in the church so that she may learn to provoke others unto love and good works. She is forgiving, just as God has forgiven her in Christ.
  
  With God – She prays without ceasing. She knows that all her daily struggles are not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers in high places. She reads the Bible with much prayer, knowing that her heavenly Father is speaking to her through the Word. She attends Bible Studies to ensure she is spiritually fed.

• What is the goal of the Christian man? – The Christian man’s goal is to retain riches. In Old Testament times, God blessed Israel spiritually and materially (cf. Leviticus 26 and Deuteronomy 28). As a national witness, married to the Promised Land, God blessed both the people and the Land when God's people obeyed His holy Word by living in holiness and righteousness according to the Scriptures, just as He cursed the people by cursing the Land when they refused to repent and continued to live in sin. In the case of the church's witness, God's blessings are only spiritual, not physical, since the church is not married to property and is not property. The church in the New Testament is the people, God's children assembled every Lord’s Day for worship and fellowship. Therefore, when God says that the Christian man’s goal is to retain riches, He meant that the Christian man is to obey God’s Word in all that he does, all his life. He is the leader of God’s people during both theocratic rule and the monarchy. God blessed the nation of Israel when it was godly, obeying God’s Word. In the context of the church, God will bless His church. God cursed the nation of Israel when he was ungodly. For ungodliness, God will curse the church by departing from it, where no one can be saved, and no one can grow in God’s Word.
  
  The Board of Elders must be mature Christian men appointed by God to protect, nurture and admonish God's children whom He brings to His church, every Lord’s Day. They are also the heads of Christian homes. Their godliness and devotion to God will impact many whom God has entrusted to their care.
  
  At home – The Christian man is godly at home, whether he is single or married. He ensures that his relationship with God is right by loving God with all his heart, soul, strength and mind. He knows that only with such a devoted love for God can he love his neighbour, i.e. his family, as himself and not more than himself, which would be idolatrous. He has a proper plan for feeding his spiritual life so that he continues to grow in grace and in the knowledge of God in Christ Jesus every year.
  
  As the head of his home, he studies God's Word regularly because he knows that without this in his life, he cannot rule his home wisely. This is the only way he can care for his wife and his children that is pleasing to God. God’s Word is not only taught but also obeyed in the home, especially by the parents. He knows that teaching children is more than just with his lips; it is also through his life of holiness and righteousness, according to the Bible. In this way, his family sees Christ in his life. His primary concern is the children’s salvation and helping them find God's will in their lives. In this way, every member of his family glorifies God and can call Him Abba, Father.
  
  In church – He serves the Lord according to the spiritual gifts given to him by God. He sees his service unto the Lord as a calling where he puts his hand on the plough and does not look back. He gives his best to the Lord as an unprofitable servant because God has redeemed his life with Christ’s precious blood. His life belongs to God. He balances his life of service unto the Lord so that all areas of his life glorify God. As a husband, he helps his wife serve God in accordance with her spiritual gifts. Like his godly wife, he serves to promote Christ, for Christ must increase and he must decrease.
  
  At work – God's love constrains him and no longer the love of mammon, which was his motivation before salvation. He serves God to the best of his ability and always honestly, for he knows that God called him to his place of work. God placed him in his company to share Christ with all his colleagues. He knows that before his arrival, his colleagues who are unbelievers could not see the kingdom of heaven. Through his holy witness, they can see the reality of God's kingdom and even enter it when he shares the gospel with them. The Holy Spirit convicted and revealed to him, through the Scriptures he studies, that the high calling to save souls in Christ is the best purpose for working. Material things used to be most important in his life, and thus, he worked hard to accumulate as many as possible for his future security. Mammon is a dead thing that the devil has been using to deceive the world. Now that he is a Christian, God has opened his spiritual eyes to see and realise that mammon is the least important. He loves God and hates mammon now. That is why he is no longer motivated by mammon but by God’s love, which is exceedingly better.
  
  With God – He knows that the foundation to be a godly witness at home, work, and church is his relationship and walk with God. Without a right relationship with God, he is nothing and can do nothing. God will not hear him when he prays, worships and cries for help when he regards iniquities in his heart. When his relationship with God is right, healthy and strong, his relationships with everyone and everything will be right with God. The first thing he does when he wakes up is to read God's Word. He wants to hear his Father’s voice first before he begins his day, every day. He prays without ceasing. God is very real in his life because of the constant, silent communion he has with his heavenly Father everywhere he goes and in everything he does. He derives great joy from studying God’s Word and from spending time with God’s children in worship, serving together, and sharing a meal.

How God’s children will be remembered depends on how they lived throughout their lives. For the Christian women, they ought to be remembered for their honour, i.e. their good reputation. For Christian men, it is that they retained, i.e. held tightly to, their riches, which is that they lived a godly life.