My dear readers,

Will you Forgive and Forget?

In this earthly life, everyone will experience hurting others and being hurt by others. There is no exception. When we are hurt, we find it very difficult to forgive and forget, just as others struggle to forgive us and forget our iniquities. We may think: this is life so why fight it? Just accept it as the norm for everyone. Such a defeatist attitude must not be the condition of a child of God. God’s children alone have the ability to forgive and forget all wrongs done to them, regardless of the severity of the hurt.

What does it mean “to forgive and forget”? According to Cambridge Dictionary, “to forgive” means “to stop blaming or being angry with someone for something that person has done.” In the Bible, the Greek word means “to lay aside.” It is to lay aside the hurt, the pain, the anger, and even the shame that have been inflicted. The Hebrew Old Testament has two words which have the idea of “to pardon” or “to lift up.” It carries the same meaning as the Greek. Once the wounded soul forgives, he will feel as if he had not been hurt at all. But how can he forget? To forget does not mean not to remember, especially when the hurt is very deep. What “forget” here means is: to no longer hold that sin against the sinner. For example, A slaps B publicly; B forgives A and does not see A as an offender anymore. In summary, “to forgive and to forget” means “to pardon and not hold that offence against the offender anymore.” Who can have such grace and mercy in his heart “to forgive and forget” all transgressions against him?

God can! -- The first main Bible text that teaches us that when God forgives, He also forgets is Hebrews 10:17: “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” The context is the new life of the child of God when he accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord and Saviour. We know from Scriptures that God is immutable in His omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence. He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. Therefore He cannot lose or gain knowledge like a man. When Hebrews 10:17 says that God remembers our sins no more when we become Christians, it cannot mean that He loses all memory of our sins. This revelation means that God will no longer hold our sins against us and condemn us because all our sins have been redeemed in full by the blood of Jesus Christ, by the vicarious atoning work of Christ at Calvary. In this manner, God has forgiven and forgotten the sins of the child of God.

The second text is Psalm 103:10-14: “He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.”

Psalm 103:10-14 focuses on the mercy of God. It supports the reasoning above that when God forgives, He forgets as well. He will remove all our sins as far as the east is from the west, which is to infinity. East and West will never meet! This is a very vivid way to describe that once Christ's blood has washed the sinner's sins, they remain forever washed away. The believer remains entirely sanctified. His sins will never return to condemn him. He will never lose his salvation! The positional sanctification in every believer’s life is secured by the eternal and unchanging finished work of Christ at Calvary. Romans 8:38-39 states, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

This truth is not to be confused with Practical Sanctification, which teaches every child of God never to stop confessing his sins to God through Christ. He is holy, but he still sins. He must continue to repent of any sin and must seek forgiveness from God. His fellowship with God, such as his worship and prayer life, will be jeopardized if he refuses to confess and repent of his sin. Psalm 66:18: “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” When a child of God sins, his relationship with God as a child of God remains secure, but his unconfessed sin will affect his fellowship with God. How can he be a useful servant and witness for Christ if his prayers are not heard and answered by God? He is rendered spiritually useless.

All children of God can and must! – Not only is God able to forgive and forget, all His children are also able to do the same. Matthew 6:14-15 teaches, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Every child of God must forgive every sin committed against him. There is no exception. If he says that he cannot forgive, God questions his salvation in Matthew 6:14-15! The context of Matthew 6:14-15 is the conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer. Out of the seven aspects of the Prayer, the Lord only emphasizes forgiveness. He knows it is hard for believers to forgive one another. But, if a child of God has truly experienced in his heart the forgiveness of God in Christ, then he has the strength and grace from God to forgive all sins committed against him. God gives this gracious gift of forgiveness to all His children. There is no sin committed against him that he cannot forgive, because no one in his life is more precious to him than Jesus Christ, who died for him.

What if the offender refuses to repent of his sin? Shall a believer still forgive? The answer is yes. Because the believer has received forgiveness from God through Christ, he will in turn bear no ill-will or resentment against his offender. In his heart, he has forgiven the offender. In this way, the peace of God keeps his heart and mind at rest. If he does not, he will be in sin. His resentment will turn to bitterness, and bitterness to anger, and anger to hatred, and hatred to murder. He will “murder” the character of his offender by gossip and slander. He will fall into the sin of sowing discord among brethren, which is an abomination to God (cf. Prov 6:16-19). If the offender apologizes, and the believer forgives, then the offender must receive the believer’s forgiveness. The relationship is thus restored, and there is reconciliation.

How many times must the believer forgive? There is no end to forgiveness. Jesus taught in Matthew 18:21-22, “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” It could be the same sin committed by the same person repeatedly. The believer must keep on forgiving. Is this not how God forgives us? Do not think the offender is not sincere just because he struggles with a sin. Do not mistake weakness for insincerity.

Forgiveness of sin does not mean that there are no consequences. When Moses sinned against God, God forgave him. However, Moses was not permitted to enter the Cis-Jordan side of the Promised Land.

Food for thought – Will you always forgive and forget?