Have you stumbled or offended somebody before? If so, how did you resolve the problem? Did you find it hard to be reconciled with that person? Wise Solomon had testified in Proverbs 18:19, "A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle." This verse speaks of one who has done something wrong to his brother. As a result, that brother is offended and difficult to win back. The emphasis here is not so much about forgiving others, but of seeking forgiveness from those we have offended. A relationship that has been broken or a trust that has been misplaced can be very hard to restore, though not impossible.

Solomon used “a strong city” for comparison. For a city to be strong, it must be well protected. It must be fortified. It must have a great defence system in place. It will be extremely difficulty for the enemy to break through. As much as a strong city is difficult to conquer, it is even more difficult to regain the trust of a brother whom you have wronged. This is what Solomon meant in this proverb. Time is certainly needed for the wound to heal. Solomon said, “… and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.” The bars of the castle are very strong and unbreakable. But let us not give up seeking reconciliation, though it may seem impossible. It requires time and sincerity and much prayer in order to break through. I believe trust can be earned and forgiveness be obtained one day. Do not give up!

What is done cannot be undone. The hurt and the stumbling cannot be reversed. We cannot act as if nothing has happened. In addition, this verse serves as a severe warning to us. We must indeed be very careful with our words and actions so as not to hurt or stumble anyone. One wrong step or a word uttered foolishly can hurt and destroy relationships. Be sure to pray, think through and be filled with the Spirit that we may speak words of grace and kindness, and not be out to provoke one another to anger and bitterness. May God help us. Amen.